Less is Mour, a Premier bitcoin dice League preview

 

 

 

After a summer of relative tranquility, where only the visit of Australian cricketers or a meeting of 16 peculiar people in a house could arouse our interest, the return of the Premiership is set to awaken us from our betting slumber.

 

The bookmakers have created a colossal amount of markets for the new season, including which manager will be the first to leave his post, which player will receive the most bookings, and for the more adventurous, which team will win the title.

 

To discover everything you need to know about your team’s chances for the new season, and preview the mountain of specials on offer, read on.

 

Arsenal

 

Winners 10/3 @ Bet Direct

Relegation 10,000/1 @ Sporting Odds

Season Special – Arsenal to finish above Chelsea 5/4 @ Super Soccer

Player Special – Henry to win the Golden Boot 9/4 @ BET 365

 

The sale of Vieira was the shock of the summer, but if Wenger can remain unruffled after throwing a Paddy, we must take the hint that he’s happy with the abundance of talent at the club. The Premiership’s most consistent team of recent years are Gunner regain their title.

 

Aston Villa

 

Winners 500/1 @ Sporting Odds

Relegation 25/1 @ Totesport

Season Special – Villa to finish above Birmingham 4/5 @ Super Soccer

Player Special – Angel to score more than Forssell 10/11 @ Super Soccer

 

O’Leary has added real quality to the Villa squad; Kevin Phillips is a fantastic signing for £750,000, Stuart Taylor looks the part and he’s managed to get his hands on a free Berger. European football? It’s coming to a Holte.

 

Birmingham

 

Winners 700/1 @ Sporting Odds

Relegation 16/1 @ UK Betting

Season Special – Birmingham to finish above Villa 11/10 @ BET 365

Player Special – Forssell to score more than Angel 4/5 @ Super Soccer

 

The Forss may be with them, but can they sign Pandiani? The City manager believes that the Uruguayan can make all the difference for the Blues, and what’s good for the Bruce, is good for the Panda.

 

Blackburn

 

Winners 1,500/1 @ BET 365

Relegation 10/1 @ Stan James

Season Special – Blackburn to finish above Bolton 6/5 @ Stan James

Player Special – Robbie Savage to be sent off in a league match 2/1 @ Super Soccer

 

He’s more camp than Savage, more hillbill than Kill Bill, but his antics always generate interest. You can back Robbie to be sent off in any league match at 2/1, but beware, he rarely gets caught.

 

Bolton

 

Winners 500/1 @ Super Soccer

Relegation 25/1 @ Skybet

Season Special – Betting without the big 3 25/1 @ Ladbrokes

Player Special – El Hadji Diouf to be sent off in a league match 5/4 @ Super Soccer

 

The signing of Diouf is a major bitcoin dice gamble, and reports of a summer bust up with a team-mate’s partner (The spit man and her) have done little to improve the Senegalese hit-man’s reputation. However, Big Sam is a master of his trade and a top half finish is guaranteed.

 

Charlton

 

Winners 1,000/1 @ Super Soccer

Relegation 8/1 @ UK Betting

Season Special – Charlton to finish in the top half of the table 13/8 @ Paddy Power

Manager Special – Curbishley to be the first manager to go 14/1 @ Coral

 

Charlton’s customary end of season collapse brought the following quote from the manager, “Maybe I’ve been here too long.” A slow start to the season could see Alan kicked to the Curb.

 

Chelsea

 

Winners 5/6 @ VC Bet

Relegation 10,000/1 @ Stan James

Season Special – Chelsea to win the quadruple 100/1 @ UK Betting

Player Special – Drogba to win the Golden Boot 16/1 @ Coral

 

Paul McCartney believed that ‘Money can’t buy me love’ but Paul Daniels and Chelsea fans would probably disagree. Retaining a title is always tougher than winning a title, 2nd place for the Blues.

 

Everton

 

Winners 300/1 @ Totesport

Relegation 40/1 @ William Hill

Season Special – Everton to finish above Liverpool 7/2 @ BET 365

Player Special – Beattie to score more than Cisse 11/8 @ Super Soccer

 

Liverpool are the best team in Europe, and Everton are the best team in Liverpool; Chelsea must be petrified. Everton’s drop down the table is as certain as night follows day, possibly more so.

 

Fulham

 

Winners 1,500/1 @ Super Soccer

Relegation 4/1 @ Totesport

Season Special – Fulham to finish in the top half of the table 11/4 @ Paddy Power

Player Special – Helguson to score 10 or more league goals 11/10 @ Super Soccer

 

The loss of Van der Sar will be a real blow for Fulham, but as Andy Cole has also left the club, the news hasn’t been all bad in the transfer market this summer. The arrival of Helguson should guarantee a few goals this year as Fulham consolidate their mid-table position.

 

Liverpool

 

Winners 20/1 @ Stan James

Relegation 2,500/1 @ VC Bet

Season Special – Liverpool to finish above Man Utd 7/4 @ Super Soccer

Player Special – Cisse to win the Golden Boot 22/1 @ BET 365

 

After finishing 37 points behind Chelsea last season, Benitez has decided to bolster his forward line of Cisse and Morientes with Peter Crouch. Possibly the worst decision since a Scouser set fire to his Gerrard shirt, the day before he agreed to sign a new contract. D’oh.

 

Man City

 

Winners 750/1 @ Sporting Odds

Relegation 20/1 @ Totesport

Season Special – City to do the double over United 25/1 @ Super Soccer

Player Special – Andy Cole to score 10 or more league goals Evs @ Super Soccer

 

An awful pre-season for the Blues saw Joey Barton scrap with a 15 year old Everton fan, and Andy Cole sign a contract. Psycho will probably continue with his cunning plan of playing David James up front, as they’ll almost certainly concede fewer goals.

 

Man United

 

Winners 7/2 @ Bet Direct

Relegation 5,000/1 @ Stan James

Season Special – Man Utd to finish above Arsenal 11/10 @ Stan James

Player Special – Rooney to win the Golden Boot 14/1 @ Coral

 

The arrival of a quality keeper will ensure that United are a real threat for the title this season. The 14/1 about Rooney topping the goalscorer charts looks real value, it’s as clear as the chin on his chin.

 

Middlesbrough

 

Winners 300/1 @ Coral

Relegation 33/1 @ William Hill

Season Special – Middlesbrough to finish above Newcastle Evs @ Stan James

Player Special – Yakubu to score more than Shearer 5/6 @ Super Soccer

 

It’s time to ask the question; is Steve McClaren a good manager? One Carling Cup and the odd UEFA Cup tie against the likes of Egaleo does not represent a reasonable return on Steve Gibson’s considerable outlay; 15 for the Yak, or Macca for the sack.

 

Newcastle

 

Winners 250/1 @ Totesport

Relegation 40/1 @ Super Soccer

Season Special – Newcastle to be the top North East club 5/6 @ BET 365

Manager Special – Souness to be the first manager to go 11/2 @ BET 365

 

After a season of dressing room unrest, the manager’s plan to improve morale consists of replacing Craig Bellamy with Nicolas Anelka. Oh dear. The Geordies have fallen for the Scott Parker myth; it’s another disappointing season ahead.

 

Portsmouth

 

Winners 3,000/1 @ Sporting Odds

Relegation 9/4 @ VC Bet

Season Special – Pompey to finish in the top half of the table 7/2 @ Paddy Power

Player Special – Robert to score 5 or more league goals 11/8 @ Super Soccer

 

Laurent Robert is the footballing equivalent of modern art. Occasionally pretty to look at, but it serves no real purpose. They struggled last season with Yakubu and Berger, they’re relegated without them.

 

Sunderland

 

Winners 5,000/1 @ Skybet

Relegation 4/5 @ Stan James

Season Special – Sunderland to finish in the top half of the table 7/1 @ Paddy Power

Manager Special – McCarthy to be the first manager to go 14/1 @ VC Bet

 

Stead and Elliott look to be a handy partnership up front and their goals can ensure Sunderland’s survival. Victor Chandler make Mick McCarthy a 14/1 shot to be the first manager to leave his post; a case of a big Mackem fries.

 

Tottenham

 

Winners 200/1 @ Skybet

Relegation 66/1 @ Totesport

Season Special – Tottenham to finish in the top six 7/4 @ Ladbrokes

Player Special – Defoe to win the Golden Boot 18/1 @ Stan James

 

Spurs have been linked with every world class player on the market this summer, and have bought Tom Huddlestone. Alex Ferguson believes the Spurs may be a challenger this season, although exactly what he expects them to be challenging for is open to question.

 

West Brom

 

Winners 5,000/1 @ Bet Direct

Relegation Evs @ BET 365

Season Special – West Brom to finish above Portsmouth Evs @ BET 365

Player Special – Earnshaw to score 10 or more league goals Evs @ Super Soccer

 

The film ‘Get Carter’ inspired their summer transfer policy. The film ‘Falling Down’ will represent their season.

 

West Ham

 

Winners 5,000/1 @ Ladbrokes

Relegation 8/11 @ Super Soccer

Season Special – West Ham to finish above Tottenham 7/2 @ BET 365

Player Special – Repka to have the worst disciplinary record 20/1 @ Totesport

 

The bookies make them favourites to finish bottom of the league, but don’t be deceived; not every Hammer is a tool.

 

Wigan

 

Winners 5,000/1 @ Skybet

Relegation 4/5 @ Premier Bet

Season Special – Wigan not to be relegated 11/10 @ UK Betting

Player Special – Roberts to score more than Ellington Evs @ Super Soccer

 

Wigan now have a top class football team and an awful rugby team, if this move towards an upside down parallel universe continues, who knows? Birmingham may win a trophy that doesn’t have the word ‘windscreen’ in the title. Wigan have a great manager and great strikers. They’ll stay up.

 

 

Manchester United Lose in Japan

 

Manchester United lost 2-1 to current J-League leaders Kashima Antlers in a pre-season friendly at Tokyo’s National Stadium.

 

Masashi Motoyama scored twice for Kashima with Ryan Giggs netting for United. All the goals came in the first half. Ruud van Nistelrooy and Louis Saha were guilty of some bad misses for the Reds and the game ended with a bitter argument between van Nistelrooy and defender Rio Ferdinand.

 

United wrap up their tour of Japan with another friendly against Urawa Reds at Saitama’s World Cup stadium just outside Tokyo on Saturday.

 

Bolton in Japan

 

Bolton Wanderers completed their pre-season tour of Japan with a 1-1 draw with J.League side Kawasaki Frontale.

The Trotters also drew 1-1 with Vissel Kobe earlier in the week. The English Premier League side came back from 1-0 deficits in both games. James Sinclair grabbed the equalizer for Bolton with 4 minutes to go.

Bolton manager Sam Allardyce expressed interest in bringing a Japanese player to join the already international brigade at the Reebok in the future.

 

Liverpool Red Diary

 

The ruthless and relentless Chelski revolution, that now appears to dominate every football-related media publication, seems to have sprung up virtually overnight. It seems only yesterday that the west London club had a side befitting of their history; completely unremarkable. Now they are trying to take over the world, and what is worse is that the world seems to be listening. I was doing a coaching session recently in a remote corner of central Russia, where an alarming proportion of youngsters were sporting counterfeit Chelsea shirts. It’s hard to think that just two years ago they would have been that of Arsenal, Man United and even Liverpool.